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Love Vortex
7 Kisses to Love  There is a language of love that speaks volumes between two people, a kiss. Kissing has been a way to communicate our deepest emotions without words or explanations. A kiss can be a powerful life-changing moment that can leave you on high wanting more or as an ending to a drawn-out relationship in which a goodbye kiss is all that is left to do. Kissing, ah yes this powerful tool can be put in many categories and used in many ways depending on the the person you want to convey your feelings to. Erotica Author Zane, has used kissing in the most deepest, sexy, and sexual ways that leave her readers in a blissful state of eroticism, wanting more. So to kick off this Holiday Weekend of Lovers, let’s start off by identifying our memorable first kiss or the kiss that just blew your mind! Here is a list of the TOP 7 kinds of kisses. Which one was your first & Which one is your all-time FAV! 1. THE GENTLE KISS- this one is likened to a peck on the lips. Cautiously done in case you are rejected by the recipient. Normally on a first date or as a quick-friendly platonic gesture. |
2. THE SLOPPY JOE- OK, I had to throw this in because many people don’t believe they fit into this category. This kiss is done when you are overly excited that you got the opportunity to lock lips with the one you’ve been pawning over secretly and now you get to express your love, except you forgot to leave the extra saliva at home in the spit jar!
People who are sloppy joes' get their emotions so high that they forget to close their mouths some and swallow the extra juice while kissing you, thinking you may want some of theirs; leading to a river of dripping wetness running out your mouth & down your face….I’ll personally pass on this one!
People who are sloppy joes' get their emotions so high that they forget to close their mouths some and swallow the extra juice while kissing you, thinking you may want some of theirs; leading to a river of dripping wetness running out your mouth & down your face….I’ll personally pass on this one!
3. THE FOREHEAD- Sometimes in life people need some love and uplifting that is non-sexual. The forehead kiss is a simple friendly kiss that affirms you are there when they are down or to show support and validation. However, when dating, a kiss like this can be interpreted as “there will be no second date however we can still try to be friends.” So look for the clues in your situation because a kiss can say a thousand words!
4. THE FRENCH LICK- This is a teaser kiss involving only one person making the move! It is a bold move meant to convey to the recipient that “I like you, I think you’re hot & I want you!” You will need the perfect timing to pull this one off...so try not to do it when someone has a mouth full of food or else the food may come back in your face! One must have a smooth erotic persona for this kiss. And believe me, it will be a memorable one for the receiver! ( I think I invented this one! Lol)
5. THE TRUE LOVE- Consider yourself lucky if you had experienced this as your first kiss. This kiss seems to come once in a lifetime when you have found your soulmate. It is the foundation of the last two kiss types on this list. A true love kiss involves a connection at the soul level better known as the perfect kiss. It brings two people together without a need for sexual contact by arousing an outer body-like experience and making yourself vulnerable to one another. Time seems to stand still in this kiss and if you ever had the chance to experience this, let things blossom gradually without outside interference & you’ll have a mate for life!
6. THE COMBINATION TWIST- Now that you have learned the basic fundamentals of kissing, it’s time to turn up a couple of notches! The combination twist is what it sounds like.
Kissing is a great foreplay appetizer but when you add some special sauce to it, it will turn into something x-rated! lol It starts off with the #4 & #5 then either partner, (mainly the girl) gently sucks the tongue of her guy hinting into what she has in store for him later. One must be careful to not suck hard or it goes downhill quickly! The interval of French kissing and sucking is one of a rhythmic motion moving from the lips to exploring your partner’s body then ending with the kiss at the climax of your sexual encounter.
Never kiss someone on the forehead with this kiss, it sends a message of “thanks for the booty call”...Yikes!!!
7. Last but not least is THE PASSIONATE KISS. When you have a strong connection with someone and you have been apart for some time, this kiss is blind to anyone around you. All you see is that person and all you want to do is to consume them in your love. This kiss will definitely lead to the bedroom as you both are ripping off clothes, grabbing body parts, and trying to cram all the kisses mentioned here in a small window of time you may have! In the end, it will seem like a movie….so light a cigarette & chill! And if you put her to sleep afterward, men...A JOB WELL DONE!
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MY LUVS
Defiant - Delusional or Don’t Care
Why seemly happy relationships Fail
One would speculate the couple seen with smiles on their faces on a social media post or showing affection to their mate around others translates into a blissfully happy relationship. But in a blink of an eye, the relationship has dissolved with each other blaming the other for its demise. Let us take a more personal look into this.
On the surface, you may have thought all was well because the standard level of courting has been checked off: Warm kisses in the morning, pillow talk at night, date nights, romantic getaways, lavish gifts & trips, and the phrases of love that just melt your heart and take your breath away. Eager to tell the world, you take to social media, posting away like a slot machine junkie but deep inside you can’t tell it all.
Hidden away deep down or subconsciously you know how to enter the game and make all the right moves that make someone fall madly in love but in the mix of it is this hidden dark place that is defensive, paranoid, self-destructive, perhaps suffering from low self-esteem or abuse issues; knowing it's only a matter of time before the inevitable happens and it's all taken away with you in the same cycle of meet, destroy, repeat.
Many people don't take time to do some serious soul search and self-analyzation to correct and change negative patterns, thoughts, or habits before going to the next person; charge it to the game, its life, he/she just wasn’t the one or I jumped before God told me to, can be ego’s mind of explanatory reasons but really it’s ALL you: DEFIANT, DELUSIONAL OR YOU JUST DON'T CARE.
So how do we end this cycle? Well, there are many positive paths to take but you must choose one that is best for you. For starters take ownership of the dark cycle that has kept you from true happiness. Acceptance of past life experiences that have held you with false premises about relationships can now be your key to freedom. Knowing what happened, your yesterday is not part of your tomorrow, it's yours to choose!
Lastly, become a new loving for you! Love you, get to know you, mold you into all that you wish to see in others, for like attracts like.
If you so happened to be the one involved with someone who happens to exhibit negative behavior, know this, it just didn't happen. Those behaviors were already there and just maybe you ignored the red flags because the game was so well played. Also, with social media outlets, it is just a flood of love-bitten people ready to hook up without really knowing, investigating & questioning the other about themselves or the motives and expectations going into what should be the courting phase has become the Netflix chill & cuddle new way establishing connections.
In retrospect, your true happiness is not based on a person or what they can give you nor is it based on a place or thing but it is a personal choice you decide to make for yourself, each and every day! So learn, live & love!
Namaste
Peace & Love
Julie K.
_____________
1/2023
8 Things You Never Knew About Men and Sex
Get ready to have your mind blown.
It's a common stereotype that for men, sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's good. But that's one of the many sexual myths that we might want to throw out for good. "We always talk about the differences between men and women, but I think we've exaggerated that," says Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex.
As the director of Men's Health Boston and an associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, Morgentaler has been helping men with their sex lives for over 25 years. And as the title of his book implies, he's heard some very interesting things in his practice.
So we asked Morgentaler to enlighten us with some of the most surprising things women don't know about men and sex. You might want to sit down for this:
Men Can—And Do—Fake Orgasms
In the case study that inspired the book, one man came to Morgentaler complaining that he didn't know how to stop faking orgasms with his girlfriend. He hadn't been able to climax during intercourse for most of his life, but since he really cared about his new girlfriend, he'd resorted to faking it so that she wouldn't get offended. Shocked? He's not the only one. "As this book was being written and I was talking to people about it, it was astonishing to me how many men said they've faked it in their lives," says Morgentaler. So what about the matter of, um, evidence? If you're using a condom, you probably wouldn't know if he disposed of it pretty quickly. "If you're not using a condom, it's often a question of how much fluid is down there and how aware is the woman," says Morgentaler.
In the case study that inspired the book, one man came to Morgentaler complaining that he didn't know how to stop faking orgasms with his girlfriend. He hadn't been able to climax during intercourse for most of his life, but since he really cared about his new girlfriend, he'd resorted to faking it so that she wouldn't get offended. Shocked? He's not the only one. "As this book was being written and I was talking to people about it, it was astonishing to me how many men said they've faked it in their lives," says Morgentaler. So what about the matter of, um, evidence? If you're using a condom, you probably wouldn't know if he disposed of it pretty quickly. "If you're not using a condom, it's often a question of how much fluid is down there and how aware is the woman," says Morgentaler.
A Male Orgasm Doesn't Always Come with Evidence
Seriously! In some cases, men can actually orgasm without ejaculating, says Morgentaler. In some men with diabetes, the opening to the bladder doesn't close well, and the fluid can go back into the bladder (it's released when they urinate after sex). Another slightly more common example is older men who have had a radical prostatectomy. Although Morgentaler isn't totally sure about this one, people who practice tantric sex often believe that men can experience an orgasm without ejaculating.
Seriously! In some cases, men can actually orgasm without ejaculating, says Morgentaler. In some men with diabetes, the opening to the bladder doesn't close well, and the fluid can go back into the bladder (it's released when they urinate after sex). Another slightly more common example is older men who have had a radical prostatectomy. Although Morgentaler isn't totally sure about this one, people who practice tantric sex often believe that men can experience an orgasm without ejaculating.
They Fake It For The Same Reasons Women Fake It!
According to most of the men Morgentaler has treated, the primary reason for faking it was because it just wasn't going to happen for them during sex (which is also one of the reasons women fake orgasms). Maybe he's had too much drink, he's feeling anxious, or he's on medications for anxiety or depression that make it harder to orgasm. "It's almost the same as what happens with women," says Morgentaler. "It's a way of saying to their partner that they still did a good job, everything's fine, and it's enough for now." Essentially, both genders fake it for pretty unselfish reasons. (That said, it doesn't make it the best idea. Read our tips to never fake an orgasm again.)
Younger Men Have Problems With Erections, Too!
It's not just the over-40 crowd that's seeking sex therapy and little blue pills. "Men—including young men—have a lot of sexual issues," says Morgentaler. "This is not rare by any means." And it's not just erectile problems that they're suffering with—premature ejaculation affects about 20 percent of men, says Morgentaler.
It's not just the over-40 crowd that's seeking sex therapy and little blue pills. "Men—including young men—have a lot of sexual issues," says Morgentaler. "This is not rare by any means." And it's not just erectile problems that they're suffering with—premature ejaculation affects about 20 percent of men, says Morgentaler.
Men Aren't Always in the Mood
"This idea that man is ever-ready, ever-willing is actually not true," says Morgentaler. "It may be true at 18, but things change once you have responsibilities." We think it's normal when we're not in the mood because we're stressed or bloated, but for some reason, we assume guys are immune to stuff like this. The thing is, they aren't. So if he isn't really feeling it tonight, don't freak out—it's totally normal for guys to pass on sex every now and then.
"This idea that man is ever-ready, ever-willing is actually not true," says Morgentaler. "It may be true at 18, but things change once you have responsibilities." We think it's normal when we're not in the mood because we're stressed or bloated, but for some reason, we assume guys are immune to stuff like this. The thing is, they aren't. So if he isn't really feeling it tonight, don't freak out—it's totally normal for guys to pass on sex every now and then.
Men Are Often More Focused On Your Pleasure Than Their Own
There's a myth that guys can be a little selfish in the bedroom. But from the cases Morgentaler has seen in his practice, it's quite the opposite. Men, like women, are often more concerned with pleasing their partner. "As soon as a man has any kind of feelings for a partner—even on the level of wanting her to like him—a lot of that focus on his own satisfaction gets shifted to wanting to be good in her eyes," he says.
There's a myth that guys can be a little selfish in the bedroom. But from the cases Morgentaler has seen in his practice, it's quite the opposite. Men, like women, are often more concerned with pleasing their partner. "As soon as a man has any kind of feelings for a partner—even on the level of wanting her to like him—a lot of that focus on his own satisfaction gets shifted to wanting to be good in her eyes," he says.
One of Morgentaler's favorite examples of this is a patient who is a paraplegic and was finally able to have sex with his wife with the help of penile injections. He was thrilled and told Morgentaler he felt like a man again—but remember, he couldn't feel any of this sensation himself. "That story is really about what it meant to him to be a sexual provider." Another example: All of the men coming into his practice seeking a harder erection. The thing is, firmness does nothing for a guy's sensitivity or orgasm—it's just the level of stiffness they're able to provide their partner. "It's not about the guy—it's about who he's trying to be for his partner," says Morgentaler.
Some Men Are Incredibly Sensitive About Their Sexual Performance
Again, we're not all that different, right? Morgentaler has had patients whose sexual dysfunction is traced all the way back to a single negative comment or bad experience. From buff, tough men breaking down in his office to guys who are devastated when they find out their wife faked an orgasm, these cases have shown him that some men's confidence and masculinity are deeply rooted in how they see themselves through the eyes of their sexual partners.
Again, we're not all that different, right? Morgentaler has had patients whose sexual dysfunction is traced all the way back to a single negative comment or bad experience. From buff, tough men breaking down in his office to guys who are devastated when they find out their wife faked an orgasm, these cases have shown him that some men's confidence and masculinity are deeply rooted in how they see themselves through the eyes of their sexual partners.
Obviously, this doesn't mean you should lie to a guy about being amazing in bed (you wouldn't want someone doing that to you, either!), but Morgentaler suggests another takeaway: "If women want to know the single best thing to keep a relationship positive, I say that if a guy has done something good for you sexually, let him know. Even a simple 'that was great,' will do wonders."
You May Have a Higher Libido Than Him
According to Morgentaler, we're in the midst of a major sexual shift. Women today are more sexually liberated and more comfortable asking for exactly what they want in bed, which is an overwhelmingly positive thing. But interestingly, it's resulting in way more business for physicians like Morgentaler. See, guys are just as familiar with the stereotype that they should have the higher libidos, though that doesn't make it true. "What I'm seeing much more now are men who come in and describe a relationship where their partner wants to have sex a lot more than they do," says Morgentaler. "It's not that their desire is so low, it's just that some women have a stronger libido. That's probably always been true, but culturally they were not expressing it as much as they do now." In fact, he has more men come into his office asking for help "keeping up" with the libidos of the women they're dating. Men who can go one or two rounds in bed are seeking Viagra so they can go a third time—even if they have no actual erectile issues.
According to Morgentaler, we're in the midst of a major sexual shift. Women today are more sexually liberated and more comfortable asking for exactly what they want in bed, which is an overwhelmingly positive thing. But interestingly, it's resulting in way more business for physicians like Morgentaler. See, guys are just as familiar with the stereotype that they should have the higher libidos, though that doesn't make it true. "What I'm seeing much more now are men who come in and describe a relationship where their partner wants to have sex a lot more than they do," says Morgentaler. "It's not that their desire is so low, it's just that some women have a stronger libido. That's probably always been true, but culturally they were not expressing it as much as they do now." In fact, he has more men come into his office asking for help "keeping up" with the libidos of the women they're dating. Men who can go one or two rounds in bed are seeking Viagra so they can go a third time—even if they have no actual erectile issues.
By no means are we suggesting that women should have lower libidos or ever feel embarrassed about their desire? Instead, it seems that both genders are going to have to accept that mismatched libidos (in either direction) are a totally natural thing—and we may start to see it becoming more prevalent. "How couples negotiate that can be important. One needs to be respectful of the other person's sexuality, too."
Article Credits:
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/male-sex-secrets
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/male-sex-secrets
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